When You’re Not Sick Enough

 

Before I even get started with this article, let me state for the record, that for those who have been approved for short or long term disability, you deserve it. You’ve suffered just as much, if not more than any of the rest of us and I do not begrudge you a thing. In fact, I understand that it’s a double edged sword. You aren’t happy about the fact that you need disability, but to simply survive, it is much needed and warranted.

Now, that being said, I wonder sometimes exactly where and when I fell through the proverbial cracks. I have a diagnosis. I actually have five diagnoses. I have the MRIs and CT scans to prove the 90 year old woman inside is cleverly disguised as a 37 year old female powerhouse on the outside. I most definitely have the monthly medical bills, which probably will be finally paid off by my great-great grandchildren, to validate my repetitive emergency room visits. I have all of this and more, so why do I keep getting denied disability?

Simple.

I’m not sick enough.

That statement is quite an emotional conundrum to me, as I don’t know whether to laugh till I cry or cry till I laugh. How in the world can I not be sick enough? How can the tears I cry alone in the early hours of the morning because I know it’s going to be a struggle to even get out of bed, be belittled to the point of humiliation? I had so many questions swirling around in my head that it was making me dizzy until a former rheumatologist of mine, let’s just call him Dr. HeadUpMyOwnHiney, gave me the cold hard truth as apparently others saw it. I didn’t look the part.

Thus befalls the curse of the invisible illness.

I have been turned down for disability more times than I even care to share with you all. I have begged, pleaded, cried and would have gladly paid someone off, but the answer is always the same. “You are still able to work a full time job.” Yeah, I can. I can most definitely work a full time job. I can even get up at dark-thirty and drive an hour to said full time job, where I end up putting in a 10 hour day fueled solely on caffeine and Skittles. I can also come home, never cook for my family, never play with my children never put my son to bed and say his prayers with him as I kiss him goodnight. I can’t do that because I can’t climb the stairs at the end of the day. I come home and go to bed. I stay there until the entire process starts anew the next day. And weekends? Forget about it. Very rarely do I even get out of pajamas for the entire 48 hours of the “weekend”. (If you could see me, I would be doing air quotes as I show off my perfected eye roll). My body is broken, I’m sick more than I’m not and until recently the “Sunday” part of my “weekend” was spent with my head in the toilet due to one gnarly shot of chemo.

No, I absolutely am capable of working. I work my rear end off for the craptastic insurance I have that left me with thousands of dollars of medical bills and a penchant for passing on much needed testing because I can’t afford the out of pocket part of my deductible.

Here’s the stripped down truth: That healthy glow I have is self-tanner. It’s a nice orange color that makes me look like I’ve been rolling around in an open bag of Doritos because the rash underneath mixes with the tanner. I’m thrilled that my skin shade of “Oompa Loompa” impresses you. The bouncy volume in what’s left of my hair is a direct result of 45 minutes of teasing it with a fine tooth comb so much that Peg Bundy would be jealous of the height. The sharp business suit I wear to the doctor’s office is because apparently it is frowned upon to wear sweats, t-shirt and flip flops to work. You know…because of that “fired” thing that I try to avoid. And finally, that strong put-together exterior that just stares intently at you (I’m talking to YOU here, Dr. HeadUpMyOwnHiney) as you tell me you will NOT agree to support me in any litigation for disability, is because I won’t give you the satisfaction of using tears to prove my pain. I save those tears for when I’m alone in my car outside your office, where you can’t see me…where no one can see me.

I’m constantly reminded of the phrase “looks can be deceiving” because I live it everyday. I will continue to push myself until something gives, whether that be THE system or MY system, because I just don’t have any other choice right now.

Because I don’t look sick.

 

Article written by Senior Editor, Stephanie Kennedy.

Stephanie lives in Fayetteville, NC and is the mother of 3 always hyperactive and occasionally adorable children. She was diagnosed with Systemic Lupus Erythematosus in 2001 and in the time since, has added Scleroderma, Hashimotos and Celiac diseases. In her day-to-day life she is a Community Relations Specialist (aka, marketing and creative hodgepodge facilitator) and a part-time blogging snarkzilla. She can always be found somewhere in social media-land causing some sort of trouble. Find her on twitter at @steph_in_nc or on facebook at Stephanie Welborn Kennedy.

©2010 butyoudontlooksick.com
  • ginnydoll

    I was denied, told I was not sick enough and that since I was able to follow oral and written instructions, I was still able to be a full time math teacher. I have a condition that causes fluid to build up in the brain, causing headaches 24/7. Imagine the worst kind of migraine multiplied by 10. I am having spinal taps to drain the fluid every 5 weeks, doesn’t affect the headaches but may keep me from going blind. I need to have an LP shunt put in. I have seen 3 neurosurgeons who have all refused to do it. My neurosurgeon/pain specialist said my case is to volatile for him to handle for me to find someone new,he had no referrals. I am on 160 mg Percocet a day and he left me with one moth to find a new dr. on my own. But sure I can go right back to work.

  • http://thebazingacast.co/ Kayla Blackwell

    Let me just say that I loved this article and I’m feeling these pains. I have chronic dysmenorrhea and NO ONE but my family believes me. I’m 25 and have suffered and fought for 15 YEARS. I missed school & work regularly and finally can’t work at all as my pain issues got worse. Getting it through my dr’s head is a struggle and even my father, who watches me suffer has talked to the dr. I feel your pain. I also have epilepsy and it’s hard to navigate the pain treatment around my seizure meds because we REFUSE to mess with something that has worked for YEARS (no I’m not dropping them…then what happens…a seizure happens and my life gets ruined more…no thanks). I often walk out of a dr’s appt and get in the car and cry, just because another appt down the tube. Nothing else new to help. And all because I’m not sick enough.

  • Lily

    Fighting insurance company because my Dr says that there’s nothing seriously wrong with me!! Test results have not proven a concrete diagnosis. I have portal hypertension, H BP, Irregular ecoptic heart beats. My bowels have seized, joint pain and something wrong with my kidneys! ! But there’s NOTHING wrong with me!!? I now stand to lose my job!! The dr has the final say? ! This needs to change! I wish that dr would experience just even 1 day of what my life is like! God help him!

  • Mandy Divanna

    • MY HIV DISEASE WAS CURED BY DR NICE, WITH HIS HERBAL HEALING SPELL/ (drniceharbelhealinghome@gmail.com).DR NICE is the only Dr who could ever get my HIV-AIDS cured with his healing spell, I have tried almost everything but I couldn’t find any solution on my disease, despite all these happening to me, I always spend a lot to buy a HIV drugs from hospital and taking some several medications but no relieve, until one day I was just browsing on the internet when I come across a great post of! Michelle! who truly said that she was been diagnose with HIV and was healed that very week through the help of these great powerful healing spell doctor, sometime I really wonder why people called him DR NICE I never knew it was all because of the great and perfect work that he has been doing that is causing all this. so I quickly contacted him, and he ask me some few questions and he said a thing I will never forget that anyone who contacted him is! always getting his or her healing in just 6 hours after doing all he ask you, so I was amazed all the time I heard that from him, so I did all things only to see that at the very day which he said I will be healed, all the strength that has left me before rush back and I becomes very strong and healthy, this disease almost kills my life all because of me, so I went to hospital to give the final test to the disease and the doctor said I am HIV negative, I am very amazed and happy about the healing Dr NICE gave to me from the ancient part of Africa, you can email him now for your own healing too at :drniceharbelhealinghome@gmail.com

  • rubi

    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
    right

  • Morgan

    At 14 I have missed countless school days and heard from countless people, “are you going to die?” & “what’s wrong with you?” I smile and say “I’m fine, don’t worry about it, it’s just asthma” but the truth is I feel dead inside, I am not a 14 year old girl i am the girl who stays awake sobbing until 4 am because the countless medications I take won’t let me drift off into that beautiful place called sleep, I fall to the ground coughing so violently I am retching and it hurts, sometimes I will lay there for several minutes with no one there to help me, except my dog, she pulls me to my feet, licks the tears off my face, and pushes me forward, she brings my phone and my meds when I need them and above all is my best friend, my service dog (she is in training now but still assists me, I get a bit better as the weather warms but I still struggle with my asthma and my anxiety, I ran away screaming from someone today because he was holding keys and I thought they were a knife, everyday I am more determined to prove everyone wrong, they told Daisy she would never be a service dog, and they tried to tell me I “wasn’t disabled enough”…. I wish I could tell them how hard things really are for me, I posted this to let everyone know about service dogs and what a blessing they are and to let you know that most people on this site qualify for one, thank you for your time

  • Richard Moore

    We have a ticking time bomb of disability where the worst things are we are being poisoned by pesticides in our food and drink (organophosphates) and mercury in our teeth. They use the former for dipping animals to prevent ticks, and in garden centres to make the plants stay healthy. For the latter we are kept in ignorance while a poisonous concoption is positioned next to our brains, whilst any left overs are put in a bin marked “toxic waste” that is not even allowed to go in a landfill. I had the misfortune to be affected by a mercury filling being swallowed, loosing my short-term memory and almost being classified with dementia, except it wasn’t quite bad enough. Left on my own to struggle it was like being on a deserted island surrounded by hungry wolves. In my uphill struggle for normality I was left with a 100,000 pound debt. Yet still no one believes me; even my own mother. I am accused of being lazy etc but nothing is further from the truth as I continue the struggle to return. The experts used to think elderly people got dementia from using aluminium cooking pans and that this went into their brains. Now they have found Mercury and think it comes from eating fish.

  • wink

    I dont think I am that sick but yes if I work then my house falls apart. dishes have sat in the sink for months. I ended up throwing them out. But I was able to go to work. I took time off and started to feel better and slowly cleaned the house. Now back to work and back to ugh…. so tired. yet cant sleep and my house is dirty. weekends are there to sleep. Sun nite.. to do laundry so I have something to wear to work. I still end up taking at least one day a week off. without pay. I have no sick days left. I am in fear that I wont be approved for disability. I vascilate between worry about finances to not caring if the house is foreclosed on.

  • Laurie w/Lyme

    Stephanie, thank you for sharing….I have the exact same life, only no husband or children… How can I when I only work and sleep?!?! I thought I was the only one who was “living” like this…

  • anastasiadenton

    ok some of these comments……….(shakes head) but anyways. Yes to FORCE myself to go into a “spoon deficit” again just to show someone that I really, truly AM sick then only to be told that it’s all in my head because I CAN “make myself sick” is laughable. Yes, my hair is “gorgeous” but my nails splinter & crack at the slightest breeze & I can’t hold food down, sleep more then X number of hours or stay away more then a certain amount either. Nope nothing wrong with me at all………….sheesh!

  • Gwevt

    The recent comments here don’t look like they are about this “Because I don’t look sick” post so I’m not sure this will be applied to that properly. But it mirrors my own experience and frustration so much I have to give it a try. I feel your frustration (not to mention pain and exhaustion).

  • Carolyn

    Hello every body….

    My name is Evalin Grishem, my family and i live together live in USA. It was after seven years i got to discover that my Husband was unfaithful to me. I didn’t know what was going on at first but as he got deep in the affair with his new lover, i felt that our marriage was on the rocks. I notice that he no longer light up when i touch him or kiss him in his neck and his chest cos he really liked it when i did that, he also usually get naked in front of me but when he started seeing that woman he stopped it. I remember asking him if i have done anything that makes him feel irritated when i am around him then he gives silly excuses that he has been feeling stressed up and that he need space for a while. I know when you are been asked for space its usually because there is something fishy going on. I hired a private investigator to help find out what was going on. And in a week time he brought me prove that my Husband that i have lived with for seven straight year is cheating on me with his high school lover. I had picture of him walking out a of a restaurant with her and many other photo of them kissing in public like he will never be caught by someone that knows he is my Husband. I asked myself, even when we had a daughter together he could do this to me. That same night i showed him the pictures that i got from my private investigator. He didn’t look at it before saying, that he is seeing someone and he know that i just found out about it. Then he said that he is in love with her. At that moment, i didn’t know if to kill myself or to kill him but the button line is that if i was going to kill anyone it was going to be me because i was so much in love with him to even think of thinking to hurt him. As time goes on he asked for a divorce and got it and i got custody of our daughter and i weep everyday seeing my daughter with out being around her daddy. I just couldn’t get my mind off my Husband and all i could think about was getting him back and live as every family should. For a year i tried all i could to get him back with the help of my seven year old daughter. Even at that all effect was in vain, i used the help of his friend but turned out all bad. I know most people don’t believe in spell casting but believe me this was my last option and the result i most say was impressive. And i know it difficult to believe but A SPELL CASTER Dr iayaryi really made my life much better because he gave me my family back. He didn’t ask me to pay for what he did for me all i was to do, was to provide the materials for the spell and i should believe that he had the power to help me. Like he said, he was going to do something that will make him reset his love and affection for me just as it has always been. My Husband told me he woke up and realized that he should have never left me that i am all he needs.To make thing clear, his life with his high school lover was great before Dr iayaryi cast the spell, they had no disagreement on anything. My Husband said it himself that why he broke up with her is something he can not explain just that he woke up on the same bed with her after a very romantic night saying he is breaking up with her for no reason at all. Only Dr iayaryi can do such a thing, contact him to solve your problem with his email driayaryi2012@hotmail.com

  • Carolyn

    Hello every body

    My Name is john smith from UK. I will love to share my testimony to all the people in the forum course i never thought i will have my girlfriend back and she means so much to me..The girl i want to get marry to left me 4 weeks to our wedding for another man..,When i called her she never picked my calls,She deleted me on her face book and she changed her face book status from engage to Single…when i went to her place of work she told her boss she never want to see me..I lost my job as a result of this cos i cant get myself anymore,my life was upside down and everything did not go smooth with my life…I tried all i could do to have her back to all did not work out until i met a Man when i Travel to Africa to execute some business have been developing some years back..I told him my problem and all have passed through in getting her back and how i lost my job…he told me he is going to help me…i don’t believe that in the first place.but he swore he will help me out and he told me the reason why my girlfriend left me and also told me some hidden secrets.i was amazed when i heard that from him..he said he will cast a spell for me and i will see the results in the next couple of days..then i travel back to Germany the following day and i called him when i got home and he said he’s busy casting those spells and he has bought all the materials needed for the spells,he said am gonna see positive results in the next 2 days that is Thursday…My girlfriend called me at exactly 3:15pm on Thursday and apologies for all she had done ..she said,she never knew what she’s doing and her sudden behavior was not intentional and she promised not to do that again.it was like am dreaming when i heard that from her and when we ended the call,i called the man and told him my my girl friend called and he said i haven’t seen anything yet… he said i will also get my job back in 3 days time..and when its Sunday,they called me at my place of work that i should resume work on Monday and they gonna compensate me for the time limit i have spent at home without working..My life is back into shape,i have my girlfriend back and we are happily married now with a baby boy and i have my job back too.This man is really powerful..if we have up to 20 people like him in the world,the world would have been a better place..he has also helped many of my friends to solve many problems and they are all happy now..Am posting this to the forum for anybody that is interested in meeting the man for help.you can mail him to victorylifelovespelltemple@gmail.com I can;t give out his number cos he told me he don’t want to be disturbed by many people across the world..he said his email is okay and he also have a web site if you want to visit him there’ he will replied to any emails asap..hope he helped u out too..good luck. Prophet Vicky of victorylifelovespelltemple@gmail.com is a great man..

  • Carolyn

    THANKS TO GREAT DR.OMON FOR SOLVING MY PROBLEMS

    Am : Monica Williams, From CANADA, i was married to my husband for 5 years we were living happily together for this years and not until he traveled to USA for a business trip where he met this girl and since then he hate me and the kids and love her only. so when my husband came back from the trip he said he does not want to see me and my kids again so he drove us out of the house and he was now going to Italy to see that other woman. so i and my kids were now so frustrated and i was just staying with my mum and i was not be treating good because my mother got married to another man after my father death so the man she got married to was not treating her well, i and my kids where so confuse and i was searching for a way to get my husband back home because i love and cherish him so much so one day as i was browsing on my computer i saw a testimony about this spell caster Dr.omon testimonies shared on the internet by a lady and it impress me so much i also think of give it a try. At first i was scared but when i think of what me and my kids are passing through so i contact him and he told me to stay calm for just 24 hours that my husband shall come back to me and to my best surprise i received a call from my husband on the second day asking after the kids and i called Dr.omon and he said your problems are solved my child. so this was how i get my family back after a long stress of brake up by an evil lady so with all this help from Dr.omon, i want you all on this forum to join me to say a huge thanks to Dr.omon and i will also advice for any one in such or similar problems or any kind of problems should also contact him his email is omonualovespelltemple@hotmail.com he is the solution to all your problems and predicaments in life. once again hi email address is omonualovespelltemple@hotmail.com

  • Carolyn

    my Names is Daniel brown ,AM from Canada .i never believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once when i went to Africa in June last year on a business summit i ment a man called Prophet Lord, is powerful he could help you cast a spells to bring back my loves gone misbehaving lover looking for some one to love you bring back lost money and magic money spell or spell for a good job i m now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 4weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 3 year i really loved him, but his mother was against me and he had no good paying job so when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him at first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try and in 6 days when i returned to Vancouver my boyfriend (is now my husband ) he called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married i didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid and my husband also got a new job and our lives became much better in case anyone needs the spell caster for some help his email address: solutionoflovespelltemple@gmail.com

  • lisa jerry

    ….Hello I am Lisa Jerry ,I am out here to spread
    this good news to the entire world on how I got my ex husband back.I
    was going crazy when my husband left me and my two kids for another
    woman last month, But when i met a friend that introduced me to Priest
    Ohio the great messenger to the oracle of priest Ohio solution home,I
    narrated my problem to Priest Ohio about how my ex Husband left me and
    my two kids and also how i needed to get a job in a very big company.He
    only said to me that i have come to the right place were i will be
    getting my heart desire without any side effect.He told me what i need
    to do,After it was been done,24 hours later,My Ex Husband called me on
    the phone and was saying sorry for living me and the kids before now and
    one week after my Husband called me to be pleading for forgiveness,I
    was called for interview in a very big company here in USA were i
    needed to work as the managing director..I am so happy and overwhelmed
    that i have to tell this to the entire world to contact Priest Ohio on
    his personal email address and get all your problem solve..No problem is
    too big for him to solve..Contact him direct on:
    priestohiosolutionhome@gmail.com or contact him through his website at
    http://priestohiosolutionhome.webs.com and get your problems solved like
    me….. ONCE AGAIN HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS:
    priestohiosolutionhome@gmail.com or contact him through his website at
    http://priestohiosolutionhome.webs.com

  • Danny Wayne

    I do not know how to thank GREAT VUGA for bringing
    happiness back to my family. My name is Danny Wayne and i do really
    wanna tell the whole world that there is a spell caster called GREAT
    VUGA that is so real and genuine. I never believed in any of these
    things but when i lose my wife for 4 years, i required help until i
    found Vugalovetemple@gmail. com A great spell caster, and he cast a love
    spell for me, and he assured me that I will get my wife back in just
    48hours but i was in doubt, and after the spell has been cast, 48hours
    later, just as the spell caster said, my phone rang, and surprisingly it
    was my wife who has not called me for the past 4 years, and she made an
    apology for the pain she has caused me and she told me that she is
    ready to come back home for me. GREAT VUGA really made her to know how
    much i loved and needed her. And he also opened her eyes to picture how
    much love we have to share together. With this testimony right now i am
    the happiest man on earth and our love is now stronger than how it was
    even before our divorce and that is why I will keep sharing this
    testimony all over the world. All thanks goes to GREAT VUGA for the good
    work that he has done for me. Here is his email address if you are
    having the same or similar problem contact him now because he is very
    powerful and he will always help you. Believe him and do all he ask you
    to do and never doubt him in any way. Contact him now on
    Vugalovetemple@gmail. com

  • Bradley speck

    I had a problem with my boyfriend six months ago,which lead to us apart.

    When he broke up with me,I was no longer myself,I fill so empty inside

    sorry.Until a friend of mine told me about one of her spells that helped in

    same problem too. i email the spells and I told him my problem

    and I did what he asked me to briefly make. the long story Before I knew it

    what happened,not 48 hours,my friend gave me a call and he

    come back to me and told me he was sorry about what was going to happen, I’m so

    grateful to these spells and will not stop publishing his name on the internet

    just for the good work he has doing.If you need his help,you can email him at

    (UNIQUELOVESPELLCENTER@YAHOO.COM)and he will also help you to Dr.AZIM(

    UNIQUELOVESPELLCENTER@YAHOO.COM) I will be forever grateful to you.

    I had a problem with my boyfriend six months ago,which lead to us apart.

    When he broke up with me,I was no longer myself,I fill so empty inside

    sorry.Until a friend of mine told me about one of her spells that helped in

    same problem too. i email the spells and I told him my problem

    and I did what he asked me to briefly make. the long story Before I knew it

    what happened,not 48 hours,my friend gave me a call and he

    come back to me and told me he was sorry about what was going to happen, I’m so

    grateful to these spells and will not stop publishing his name on the internet

    just for the good work he has doing.If you need his help,you can email him at

    (UNIQUELOVESPELLCENTER@YAHOO.COM)and he will also help you to Dr.AZIM(

    UNIQUELOVESPELLCENTER@YAHOO.COM) I will be forever grateful to you.

  • Bradley Speck

    Hello to the Entire Public, Hello, my name is Janices wallocks from Housto texas.I came to this site to share the good works of the Native Doctor (prophetbaz).I never believed in love,Money spells or magic until i meant this powerful spell caster when i went to Africa in December last year on a business trip. He is really powerful and he can help you cast spells to bring back love one`s gone lost ,misbehaving,lover looking for some one to love you,Money riches,Winning lotto number, bringing back lost your lover, Bring back lost money and magic money spell for a good job,I`m now happy and living testimony because the man i had wanted to marry left me 2 weeks before our wedding day and my life was upside dowtn cos our relationship has been on for years ..I really loved him, but his mother was against us and he had no good paying job . So when i meant this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him..At first, I was undecided, skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. And in 5days time when i returned to Texas, my boyfriend (now my husband,Dr Wallocks) called me himself and apologized that everything had been settled with his mum and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married and i gave birth to twins nad i was cured of hiv..i didn`t believe it cos the spell caster only asked me for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do he did it for me… We are happily married now and my husband also got the new job and our lives became much better and we became very rich. In case any one needs the spell caster for some help, Email him on this email address:PROPHETBAZ@GMAIL.COM……hope he helps you out. Hurry now and contact him now via email address:(PROPHETBAZ@GMAIL.COM) .. Thank you very much and i am very happy right now.. Janices wallocks

  • miss jade

    NAME: JADE
    COUNTRY: USA.
    Hello readers realy it might sound some how to believe in this my testimony on how DR AJAGBO help me get my ex back. i never believe in spell ontill when my boyfriend broke my hearth, for the deep love i have for him.
    i was so suprise when he called me and said that our relationship is over, just because he had found another girl out side club that he is so much in love with more than me. and to me i did not know what else to do, i also explain things to my best friend SONIA, and did you know what she told me she told me that when she was about to loose her husband she contacted DR AJAGBO for help on how she can get her husband back and the spell realy worked for her.she contacted dr ajagbo WITH HIS EMAIL; AJAGBOSPELLTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM.PHONE NUMBER;
    +2348156759423. and realy the spell work for her. that what am i waiting for, and me as a person i did not so much believe in spell work. i try my best and i also contact DR AJAGBOSPELLTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM
    PHONE NUMBER;+2348156759423. and i also explaian things to him and he said to me woman let not your hearth be troubled dont worry between 2days time you will see the result of my spell. i did not believe not ontill after 2days time my boyfriend gave me a phone call and was begging that he is so sorry for what has happened. not him alone but he came with his friends and they all started begging me for forgiveness.
    i realy think their are some people that need’s help from this dr ajagbo. because me and my husband have now love each other as never before.no need for you to die in pains. contact him he will help you out i believe he can also do your own for you.all thanks to dr ajagbo for work well don in my life.a realy spell yes you are dr ajagbo, indeed you have saved my marriage. you can contact Dr Ajagbo AT AJAGBOSPELLTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM

  • KazeChama

    I feel your pain, I share it and cry with you. I was bitten by the deceiving looks many times, sometimes not taken seriously by doctors as well.