Mission

The mission of ButYouDontLookSick.com is to help everyone with a chronic illness or invisible disability, in order for them to live their lives to the fullest and not feel isolated and alone. We believe that our medical circumstances have put us in a unique and understanding position, so that we can help each other through similar difficult times. We hope the information and community on our site can aid people in leading better lives through knowledge, networking, friendship and most of all support.

In addition to the articles in our website/ e-magazine, we have grown to include a very active message board and chat room, as well as an online gift shop. We are excited to see these additions to our site and to watch the ButYouDontLookSick.com community grow and prosper.

The mission of ButYouDontLookSick.com doesn't stop with this free website/e-magazine. Founder, Christine Miserandino, a Lupus patient, uses many mediums to spread the ButYouDontLookSick.com message; including public speaking, articles in newspapers and magazines, and television appearances.

Member Types

There different types of members on the message boards:

New members – highlighted in blue. These are members who have just registered with us and will remain ‘new’ a specified period of time. Once you have posted a minimum number of times, you may then share your photos with us. (This small restriction helps us to prevent photographic spam.)

Moderators:

They are highlighted in purple.

These boards are moderated by long term members with the approval of the administrators. All posts made to these boards are subject to review by said moderators.

These are long time members that have shown sensitivity, dedication and respect for the members and integrity of the ButYouDontLookSick.com message boards. The current administrators have chosen these members to help them keep the boards safe, monitor posts, and assist new members and long time members alike. These moderators are just like you – they have invisible illnesses, difficult flares, jobs, family and fortunately time to devote to maintaining our message boards.

Occasionally, the moderators will need to edit, move or delete a post that a member has made. The post may be out of line with the rules that we have posted, may need editing for mature content or could just use some formatting in order to make the post more presentable. If any action is taken regarding one of these edits – the member will be informed (via pm) immediately and will be informed of such editing. If we forget to inform you (we’re spoonies too remember), please contact one of the moderators immediately so that we can explain.

We don’t’ take any editing lightly and it usually is discussed amongst the other moderators prior to action.

If you have a question about a post, thread, or topic that you are making or that someone else has made – please – please – please – feel free to pm a moderator and talk to them about it. We’re here for you.

If you have any suggestions for board format or forums to add – please let a moderator know – we’re happy to listen and review. Each topic on the main boards lists the moderators for that topic, or you can pm anyone of us.

Admin (Administrators)

They are highlighted in red.

These are the members who are the “Big Spoons” of the boards. Our founder Christine Miserandino Donato, her husband Frank (who is our resident computer geek) and Wendy Jones. These individuals make the final decisions on what happens around here. They are the “Big Spoons”, but Christine and Wendy are also spoonies and available to any questions or comments.

Administrative Actions:

Any member choosing to ignore the rules set forth for these boards shall be reviewed by the administrators and moderators and action shall be taken in the following form:

You will be warned by an administrator or moderator if there is a problem with your behavior or posts ignoring these rules.

More than 3 warnings may result in your being banned from posting on these boards either temporarily or permanently.  Final decision on banning a member will be made by the administrator based on prior offences. This decision is not reversible. Please respect the rules for that reason. It is against the rules, once banned to come back and log in under another user name. We ban the person/ screenname etc.

Rules

We encourage all our members to post as often as they'd like, and help build a community for each other. Here are a few simple ground rules to help make this an enjoyable experience for everyone:

No Cursing / Foul Language:

The message boards are set up to auto edit posts that contain offensive language.  If by some chance our filter does not catch a word that is not license to use cuss words.

Spammers:

Spamming of these message boards is strictly prohibited.

If you choose to post a message that is what the moderators consider spam, your account will be deleted, your IP address recorded and email addresses banned. If you continue to sign up, and repost spam again, it will be reported to the relevant authorities. We want to keep this forum the wonderfully supportive community it has always been, please respect our members.

Please be respectful and courteous to other members:
This is a community and we pride ourselves on being a support message board with a positive spin. 

Opinions vary on all message boards, however, we will not tolerate posting of negative comments about other members, harassing our members or manipulation of our members. Individuals choosing to join these boards seek support – not toxic relationships.

The opinions expressed here may vary from yours and that discussion is encouraged – but the difference of opinion needs to be respected – agree to disagree without escalating into an ‘I’m right – you’re wrong’ discussion.

If a problem arises with another member, please report the issue immediately to a moderator. They will handle the situation as quickly as possible. Do not attempt to resolve the issue yourself, as it may escalate the situation.

Remember that the opinions expressed here are the opinions and comments of the individual discussion board members and ButYouDontLookSick.com and it’s owners may not be held responsible for comments made by those members.

Post Formats:

Please remember internet etiquette.

Do not type your post in all capital letters – on the internet and emails, this is the equivalent of shouting. We don’t mind if you don’t use lowercase letters at the beginning of your sentences – we understand that some days, it’s just hard to type.

Please break up your posts into paragraphs and use grammar marks. Many of the members have concentration issues. Reading a post that is typed in one long sentence and not broken up is difficult to read. By keeping your posts properly formatted and to the point, you’ll receive more response because it is easier to read.

Many members have issues with flashing items on the screen – avatars, smiley’s, graphic images, etc. We try to accommodate everyone – so please take this into consideration when choosing an avatar or a graphic addition to your post. The moderators may contact you if we see something that could be a problem for some of our sensitive members.

Duplicate Posts:

If you aren't sure where your post would best be suited, and then please let us know so we can move it for you, if necessary. Multiple posts will be reviewed by the moderators to leave just one post in the most appropriate forum.

No soliciting of any kind:
Please do not post advertisements or links to your website, message boards, personal product, service, or any site that involves sales of any kind. If you are interested in posting something of this nature, please contact us at http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com so that we may work together to promote your product through one of our advertising programs. Links for solicitation will be removed from signatures and posts when found. However, you may add your link within your profile information. What is solicitation? A link taking anyone from this site, to go another site that will sell something or make a profit.

Please be careful of posting personal information. Be Smart. Be Aware. Practice Online Safety.

Please note that these forums are public. Do not list your full name, phone number, address, email address, etc - as we will not be responsible for the misuse of this information. Be careful not to post vital personal information about yourself, if you do not want it to be seen.  We will not go and edit your posts if you choose to put your personal information out there. We are taking this time to warm you of the risks.

It is important to remember that we are on the Internet and anyone can assess your posts. If you are under the age 16 you should have your parent’s permission or guidance when being on the internet.

We encourage discussion of all topics, but remember that by posting information about participating in illegal activities you are putting yourself at risk.

Although the message boards are moderated, there is a chance that adult themed language or "spammers" might post before one of our moderators check it. Please click on all links with care if they guide you out of our site, we can not be responsible.

Mature Content

Some forums contain discussions that is of a mature nature – If you are making a post regarding mature topic information – please note it in your subject line – it will help members choose whether to read the topic or not.

The members are these boards vary a great deal in age and vulnerabilities. We do not limit the ages that are able to post on the boards and ask you to please respect that there may be impressionable minds reading your post. Those impressionable minds may be young, but they may also be suffering from Post Traumatic stress issues, anxiety issues, or have been through similar experience.

We are not here to silence members who are in pain, but please consider that these posts could be difficult for others to read. Talking about your feelings and situation is great; however, we want to you to be aware of graphic information – especially when talking about suicide or sexual abuse. 

If you are making a post that contains mature content – something of a sexual nature or about a difficult time in your life that you’d like to share, please review your post and tag the subject line with “mature content” if you feel it is warranted.

We encourage these discussions especially since our illnesses affect all parts of our lives and because all parts of our lives affect our illnesses – and cause our illnesses. Members need to discuss these things and we are honored that you feel comfortable sharing your experiences with us, we just want to protect those that are sensitive to these posts.

Finally, if you become aware that another member is a danger to themselves or others – we strongly encourage you to notify the moderators if we haven’t noticed it yet. We share concern about all of our members and want them and the site to be safe. The moderators have contact information regarding getting help and we’d also like to be aware of difficult situations occurring on the boards.

Get Started and Start posting! Come Join the family!

We strongly encourage all new members to first post in the new member section.