Every so often, I learn something about Ehlers Danlos that makes me rethink life experiences. Maybe this topic will do the same for you. See the poll question. Comments are welcome. (Before you ask for a definition of teasing - I leave it up to you.) Maybe we can learn by sharing our experiences.

Put bluntly, I was bullied in school. Mostly mental/social, which doesn't lead to visible injury, and as such, was not noticed by teachers.

For a long time, I was the smallest in my class, and was known for being 'whiny'. And hey, making the weak kid cry is fun, right?

I had to do a lot of sideline-sitting in PE, which my classmates took as shirking, when in fact I'd just injured myself during a ball game or other stuff. I was usually the last one standing when teams were picked*.

Wearing glasses and braces probably didn't help my reputation any, either.
I think all of this contributed to my depression in a major way, and probably also caused a few social anxieties. On the other hand, being an outcast has its upsides, too, for example a distinct lack of peer pressure. Which means I never tried any drugs or started smoking.

The brochure I received from the geneticist actually explicitly addresses the psychosocial impact EDS can have, in childhood and adulthood alike. Thanks for starting this thread.

*having two kids choose team-members in turns is cruel and unusual practice, if you ask me. It invariably leads to somebody getting the short end of the stick, with resulting self-esteem issues. Also, there are better ways of going about it, so why not use those?

I had to transfer because of it.

My teasing/bullying was mostly related to clumbsiness, my poor vision, and my Asperger's.

I now deal with social anxiety, paranoia, PTSD, depression etc etc from it all. (It's one of the reasons why I'm multiple as well)

The bullying was emotional, verbal, manipulative, and also physical. That's really all I can say right now.

Neither did I, but I doubt I would have ever gotten deep into the scene. Most of my healthier, more naturally outgoing relatives hardly indulge.



You can thank me by posting a summary of that brochure Are there are any studies of the psychosocial impact that you can find online? Mein deutsch ist schlect, so I can only search in English, and I've never found anything with that. Actually, I just did - but it's only an abstract. Yes, "ostracism" - it's a more relevant term than just "teasing."

My experience and some thoughts:
I was tormented at times, particularly in middle school and camp. Where athleticism was emphasized more. I probably can blame some of my lack of athletic skill on EDS - FYI, only as an adult do I have pain and some disablity I was not teased about my body, and maybe my extreme height protected me from some people. My face got me teased, but only one of probably many 'bad' features (which I got to a more extreme than other family members did) was often cited, one for which I should have sooner accepted my family's offer of surgery. I wore braces for a long time and don't remembered ever being teased for them, maybe because others had them and, outcast that I was, I literally rarely had reason to open my mouth. Anyway, unexplained instant dislike makes a person paranoid, let me tell you. I was/am sad-faced - maybe that's EDS-related? Looking sad and, what I know to be associated with EDS, anxious invites teasing, I think. Also, probably anxiety is associated with being emotionally 'reactive' - which mean kids enjoy witnessing. Being teased seems to increase risk of some anxiety disorders, by the way - read here. I suspect that that is a major contributor to the seeming high prevalance of anxiety disorders with this darn physical condition. Another insight I had today is that looking young is hurtful because any comments about appearance that aren't perceived as flattering touch on memory's of teasing. So I've gone from being teased to being Tuck Everlasting, while I actually am aging in some bad ways.

I was constantly teased. For many things. I remember always getting hurt or was hurt in elementary school and the nurse was like "its always something with you" and my teachers not believing me. I had to wear a brace in 5th grade for a year: teased. In high school I was on crutches for months and got called things like "the un-injured gimp" and other things.

Now people do the "what did you do now" type stuff. Most of my friends are pretty understanding, a few are just plain ignorant.

i was constantly teased too. i was painfully shy (so shy i didnt dare look at anyone incase i made eye contact and had to interact....), very short and was chubby as a teenager. to top it all off, i was always injured so wore bandages a lot and had to sit out of sports. was bullied a lot for that one. they all assumed that i was just faking my injuries to get out of sports. even if several of us were sitting out i was still the one who was picked on. sometimes i opted to do sports on my injuries to avoid the comments. funny thing was- i was always one of the best at most sports, except running. but never picked for teams, even though the team i was in invariably won.....

i wasnt directly teased about my hypermobility and youthful skin, but i expect it made the bullies jealous so they made extra efforts to make my life a misery.

i was sick a lot when i was 14 and missed a lot of school. about the same time i started to get very exhausted and would fall into bed when i got home, with no energy left for homework. all this was pre-diagnosis so was considered as incredibly lazy. was constantly told off over it, infront of the whole class,and the teacher made us all stay late if she had to tell anyone off so was teased by the rest of my class for it.

was also teased my mother a lot, but thats a whole other story as she was an alcoholic who hated me when she was drunk. she'd latch onto any little problem i was having and tease me endlessly about it. she's the reason i was shy- she told me that i was worthless, a waste of space etc from such an early age (before i was 4 years old) that i believed her. she also teased me a lot about my health problems, insisting that they are all in my mind and that i have never had any problems (even though the tummy problems and congenital dislocated hips, hypermobility etc are all written in my baby medical book and signed by a doctor....). she also said many other, considerably nastier, things to me that have had lasting damage- i still have a tendancy towards an eating disorder (luckily overcame it early on with the help of my fab friends) as she kept telling me i was obese, ugly etc. and have not yet had a relationship that lasted more than a few weeks- i simply dont know how to interact with people properly. its like ive missed a massive section in my development.....ah well. what doesnt kill you makes you stronger. i must be as strong as a gladiator by now! wel, i can make teenagers obey me, even ones that are temperamental. yay for assertiveness!



oops, wrote an essay. sorry!
fi xx

Kids can be cruel to anyone who is different...

Yeah and I didn't understand why (not sure if I do even now)...it was like the world had this inside joke that I couldn't be part of.

I remember in seventh grade a kid stole my math book and wrote R****D all over it...and I didn't understand WHY he did it...considering it was an Advanced class but no matter how much I said "Hey...I'm smart!" and no matter how many 100s I got...I was still called that horrible word.

I didn't even change my book cover...I kept it there. As a reminder I guess.

And it wasn't just the kids...it was the TEACHERS too. I know nowadays that stuff just would not fly...Zero Tolerance and all that jazz.

*I'll get off my soapbox now*

I was teased in school. For me it was the worst in high school when my body just started falling apart and I couldn't do the things that made me sorta 'fit it' with the "normal" kids. I became really isolated and got teased more and more and people who used to be my friends wouldn't have anything to do with me anymore.

From the replies here, I don't think kids (up until the teens, at least) would have been any nicer to me had I always been in my present condition and had a name for it - invisible illness, you know. I moved around too much and each time quickly was rejected. Developing health problems didn't affect current friendships, since my appearance and shyness (to some degree from temperament) had primed me not to have any My parents didn't criticize my appearance or intentionally mistreat me because of it, but I believe that it and the shyness led them to treat me in an unsuitable way. "Seen and heard" parenting - which I hope, or dream, is becoming a thing of the past. If I had been a sickly child, the family might have been more accepting.

No more whining for now. I hadn't considered before how involved bad eyesight (partly from EDS) might have been in my shyness and embarrassing athletic performance. I offer that as a possibly helpful insight.

I was teased a lot as a child. I am am and always have been a very thin and clumsy person. Not to mention that I moved through 16 schools from Kindergarten through 8th grade. I still have problems feeling like I fit in. Only a few close friends really got to know me so I am pretty much a loner as those people all live very far away. I am a very outgoing person I just seem to be the last person people want to hang out with. I suppose it doesn't help that while they all go out after work or on the weekends I am usually to exausted or in pain so have had to turn down the few invitations I received. Now they just don't ask. I wish they would ask me on a good day and not a bad day...{sigh}

DJ

Well, my regularly dislocating (At the worst times, every 100m or so) ankles and related weird running certainly resulted in me being teased as a kid. Quite badly, at some points. Used to get me down, and I realised much later that to an extents, I spent a lot of my late childhood and early teen years self-harming. Not with a knife, but punching things, beating my arms against stuff..

Later on, people would find my flexibility disturbing - we mostly get that I expect. That could be quite alienating.

Long term harm? No. This is gonna put me at odds with a lot of people, but I don't believe in long term psychological damage from most childhood teasing. It certainly hurt at the time, and I can remember being depressed, but I've always been able to relate to my friends that I DO have, and to my family (I believe more in psychological damage through unsupportive or uncaring parents than schoolkids.)

Kids are cruel. Fact of life. I know I've said things and done things that would be considered bullying when I was a kid, and I was taught to do them by the people who bullied me. But the people I hurt, the people who hurt me, and myself have (For the most part) grown up and grown out of it. Some of us are still close friends. Others we don't know very well, but smile and greet in the street. Those who didn't grow out of it tend to drop off the social radar.

Basically, when your a kid, you're resilient - physically and psychologically. Most of the stuff I hear about how being politically incorrect around your two year old can make your kid a psycho? (Etc, Etc, and some actual REAL ones I didn't just make up on the spot) Could have come out of male cows butts. As long as you have one or two real friends and a good supportive family (Complete with bijty telltale older sister ) then while insults and namecalling will make you sad, they will teach you important lessons for later life, help you learn to deal with confrontation and diplomacy in a fairly safe manner, and in general make you actually a more stable and well rounded adult individual.

You just need the support to rise above it.

If parents aren't emotionally supportive, the effects of teasing are more likely to be long-lasting. Maybe someone has gotten government money to confirm that, but it's true regardless. Having close friendships also likely is protective. Some people are born more emotionally fragile than others, too.

Did anyone get laughed at for a strange throwing motion? I never understood what looked weird to people, but now I am suspicious that it's related to this syndrome.

For me, the worst was the mocking that adults gave me. While sometimes kids teased, it didn't really bother me too much. Adults however really left some scars. I was called lazy by teachers. I had a cop show up to yell at me for truancy in high school-- that scared the *BEEP* out of me! I even had a doctor call me a brat because I complained that things hurt! I was an athlete and my coach used to berate me and call me a wimp. I know now that I was handling more than he could probably even image, but at the time it really crushed me.

Liz