Spoon Lady Speaks...

Sometimes I wonder if anyone is really reading my writing. Does what I say, or write really mean anything? And then i get a video like this from a reader that makes everything worth it. Thank you Lisa Anne for sending it. Thank you for encouraging me to keep writing.

Christine's thank you!

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Do any of you have any "feedback" good vibes... spoonie story..... anything- comment or post it, or email me. :)

Posted by Christine at 04:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

So... I guess I am not superwoman. I am learning that now that I had a baby all my energy and "spoons" go to my baby girl. This is the way it should be and it makes me feel like I am doing right by her. But by the end of the day if the dishes aren't done and if I am still in PJ pants-- I realize that I am doing litle else of anything. My life is hers. I love her. So if I have limited energy it is spent taking care of her, feeding her, cleaning diapers, and playing with her. I wouldn't change it for the world. I just wish I could to more.... okay- maybe alot more.

It started tonight with me wanting to bake 75 cookies for our daughters Baptism. they were going to get all wrapped up and look cute. Pink Teddy Bear cookies to be exact. WEll the snowballed into wanting to make double that 150-- so we had enough for everyone to take 2. Then of course we need to wrap them all pretty with a bow. By the time the cookies were frosted-- I was crunched over in pain. What made me think I could do this? Why do I get made that I can't do "everything"? I should know by now that after living 15 years with Lupus- that superwoman never wins. I think of Lupus as the evil, hairy dark character.... wolf-like. You think she is strong, she has great hair and a kiler outfit-- but in a "face off". Just for the record... Lupus always beats Superwoman.

It is 1:26am- I am writing this from bed, covered in sugar and flour. Exhausted.Lupus won. But my daughter has cookies.

Have you ever done to much? What super hero do you try to be sometimes? Do you ever do something and know it will hurt the next day and do it anyway?

~Another ramblin' thought from Christine

Posted by Christine at 12:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

I have been feeling very angry lately.

Angry that I do not have the energy I want to have to take care of my beautiful baby girl.
Angry tht I do not have the energy to push through the pain to even do the fun stuff, watch movies with my husband, hand out with our friends.... Man, I haven't even felt up to writing. I used to love to write and now my hands are swollen and I am loosing my creative juices.

The exhaustion and pain make even showering a torturous task.

I know and hop this is just a phase. I know life isn't fair. I am a big girl-- but boy , does it make me angry!

-Christine

What do you guys do when you are Angry at your illness? (comment below)

Posted by Christine at 12:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)