If you’re a spoonie you know that our lives are often times filled with more doctors’ appointments than we’d like. If you’re a mother you know that dragging kids to those war zones appointments can be more daunting than hiking to the bottom of the Grand Canyon, and equally as challenging as scaling Mount Everest. Many of the spoonie parents I know make a concerted effort to get childcare for these half day marathons. I, however, do not.

There are many things in life that we don’t want to attend (work meetings, for example). There are many times we don’t want to behave (those same work meetings). As a mother I want to prepare my boys for these situations and I use my exhausting rheumatology appointments as an opportunity for a life lesson.

Fortunately I’m not the type to go to battle without any ammunition. I bust out the MK-47’s creativity and pack my holster diaper bag with hidden distraction bombs activities that will help me prevent my kids from losing their mind and body while I’m having mine poked and prodded.

So, my dear fellow spoonie parents, here is a guideline for how to make a trip to the doctors’ office as painless as possible (when it comes to bringing your kids, of course…I can’t do anything about your doctor’s cold hands).

1. Bring portable snacks and drinks. I have found that Cheerios and granola bars are good for this. Make sure you don’t just hand your child all of the snacks as once. I tend to hand them one or two cheerios at a time and keep the bag in my lap. This will prevent them from inhaling everything you have before the nurse even gets your weight and vitals.

2. Bring activities.

a. For younger kids bring the quiet baby toys. Make sure to use the toy links  http://www.amazon.com/Sassy-TYSA862-Lively-Links/dp/B000RF8CTY so you can link all of the toys to the stroller. Otherwise you will end up playing a game of “throw it down so mommy/daddy will pick it up”.

b. For the older kids bring coloring books, books, and other types of items. Some parents are ok with letting their children use their iPhones and iPads. I’m not that parent, but I’m sure it’s also a great distraction. Also, let them choose which toys they would like to bring. Then sneak in one more that you know they’ll like. If you can get them a new dollar store toy every once in a while then great. If not, go through the toy box for something they haven’t played with in a while and then bust that out mid appointment.

3. Know bathroom locations. Your child will announce she has to poop while the doctor is running down the list of your symptoms. Be ready for this and know where the nearest bathroom is in relation to your exam room. I have actually had this happen to me. My son was kneeling on the floor with his head between his legs and when I asked if he was ok he said, “Oh no, Mom. I have to POOP!” My doctor couldn’t help but laugh as I quickly rushed to the bathroom to aid Fireman in dropping the kids off at the pool.

4. Take them to the potty or change their diaper before you enter your appointment. As mentioned above when a kid’s gotta go, a kid’s gotta go. So to avoid this mishap make sure that your kids are fully relieved (as much as you can, clearly you can’t stick a suppository up there before your appointment) so that you won’t have them dropping a deuce mid-meeting.

5. Bring an extra change of clothes (for your children, not you). I have had my son fall asleep in the stroller and pee his pants. Fortunately I had back up clothing and we were clean and dry before the doctor even made it to the room.

6. Don’t be frazzled. Don’t stress out when your child starts to make noise or squeal. They’re kids and it will happen. As they get older you will be able to better explain that while the doctor is there that is the time for your child to play quietly. However, this is easier to teach if your child has been exposed to the situation before. After three years my three year old is just now starting to understand that he needs to play quietly when the doctor is near. He’s not perfect at this, but he’s learning.

7. Don’t give all of your goodies out at once. Stretch out what you’ve brought as activities and distractions throughout the appointment. As a parent you’ve already built an insane ability to multi-task. Use it as you entertain your kids.

8. Be prepared for anything. You may not always know what to expect. You may not think it’s going to happen because it never does. Except, the one time you don’t bring something for that situation it will happen by the power of the Almighty Murphy’s Law. So, bring all that you can “just in case”. You never know.

I have often been told that I was insane for intentionally bringing my kids to the doctor’s office with me. I don’t think I’m insane, I’m just up for the challenge. I’m determined to help my kids learn that it’s important to behave no matter the situation. They were unfortunately (or fortunately, I suppose) born to a mother that lives her life taking medications daily and going to doctors appointments and specialists constantly. If I can’t take something from my illness and teach a lesson to my boys then I’m not doing them any favors. Yes, it’s harder to take them, but in the end when I use my guideline it’s a pretty easy ordeal.

Try it the next time you enter the warzone and let me know what happens.

Article written by staff writer, Sara Swati

 Sara lives in Chicago, IL with her husband and two young sons. She was diagnosed with lupus in June 2003 and a few years later Fibromyalgia was added to the list. In her former life (aka life before children) she was a high school biology and chemistry teacher, but had to “retire” early due to her illnesses. After years of infertility due to her invisible illnesses, she became pregnant with a “sticky bean” right before she left her job. She now enjoys the time she has where her children are still smaller than her and she has size as an intimidation factor…at least until they’re eight years old. She can always be found at www.mothershideaway.com/blog or Twitter @mothershideaway