Those of us with chronic pain have some unique challenges when coming up with resolutions regarding our state of being. Pain simply affects the way we perceive goals and the future. I can only assume if someone just broke
their leg and I were to ask them what their goals are, the top one would be to fix the leg and eradicate the pain. Not such an easy goal if your pain is chronic, now is it? So it would not a reasonable goal to set, because it leads to
disillusionment and what we are aiming for is accomplishment. More reasonable goals are such things as; learning to cope with pain, seeking alternative treatments, being more persistent with demanding a treatment or considering elements such as diet. All of which would make you feel better potentially, all of which can be tricky to achieve.

Pain fixes a person in the moment. Your body demanding attention in some way, persistently, such that thinking about any future moment is hazy. In such a way we must consider pain and its unpredictability when setting
goals (or doing anything really.) Everything becomes an ‘if’- if I am up to it, not in too much pain, not afflicted with various debilitating, nauseating or annoying symptoms- then I will do such and such, assuming I am not too tired. And if your life is run by ‘ifs,’ it can really make any fixed goals beyond that day rather tricky. You can, on the other hand, have vague inclinations. I am full of vague inclinations to do things and several vague intentions and plans as well. To set any future, year long. goal you must understand some of those ‘ifs’ will slow your progress and
even disrupt it. So to have a resolution to exercise every day, does not take into account the many possible ‘ifs’ that could make that not happen. So it is always better to make a resolution more flexible, such as exercising a certain amount of time per week or three days out of the week.

The next problem is will power. Will power is not a magical ability or a character trait, it is something that needs to be be constantly maintained. Will power is putting a chocolate bar within your direct line of sight, but telling yourself not to eat it. Obviously, if the chocolate bar is not within sight, it is easier to not give in, but then you must use will power again consciously when the chocolate bar is there within reach. That would be the tricky part when you have a chronic illness. For example, your desire and intent to go to work every day may be overridden by your health. So while we use a great deal of will power to do things we need to do, the more pain the less sufficient pure will power will help you. Think about it. All that will power to get out of bed, dressed, fed and off doing what needs to be done, and there isn’t a whole lot left over. Let alone exerting will power to achieve a long term goal, consistently, when your body does not consistently agree with your will. So goals such as maintaining any new
routine of diet, exercise or a normal sleep cycle are hard to establish and keep, when disrupted by moments when pain and other symptoms completely override your will. It can be done, as we develop a certain tolerance to
base line pain and thus will power is sufficient most of the time. But it is a factor to consider.

You must understand that pure will power will not achieve your goals. You must have quite a bit of patience to train your body to new habits and routines, enough positive reinforcement for your successes to get past the pain it causes and enough forgiveness to keep going even if you slip up once in a awhile. And then you may achieve your goal, but if you do not, you must also allow yourself to accept the fact that not every goal is achievable. You and your body must compromise on any actions. We all want to be what we once were, to do as we desire, to fulfill tasks because the mind remembers what the body could once do. You are not defined by your illness, but your ‘being in the world’ is. To ignore it is to set goals that cannot be achieved, which leads to failure and a sense of defeat. It takes an understanding of your limitations to set a goal that can be reasonably achieved.

Which is why I tend not to set goals. In fact, I tend not to think about the long term future too much, because it rather resembles the present in too many unpleasant ways. However, this year I do have a New Year Resolution-
to quit smoking, a bad habit that I have kept simply because it is hard for me to fathom how it could make me feel any worse. That is until I was diagnosed with asthma and that rather makes the whole smoking thing a tad more
idiotic. And I was doing quite well at this task, exerting my constant will to not smoke, using every quit smoking product ever created and then I would get a massive migraine, will power out the window, and would smoke
five or six. For some reason I want a smoke when I am in a lot of pain. I believe it is a distraction thing. So my resolution is to quit smoking, mostly because I do like breathing.

Article written by Nikki Albert, © butyoudontlooksick.com
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