The After Holiday Crash
My daughter Christine has Lupus and she thinks she is invincible. She tries to overcompensate for the times she feels like hell, by being Superwoman, Supermom and Martha Stewart, all rolled into one.
In the weeks preceeding Christmas her home looked like a Winter Wonderland, tastefully decorated with snowmen and snowflakes. She had her precious daughter Olivia's picture taken with Santa and her photo cards were out on time- way before mine. Chris even managed to buy and wrap over 40 gifts and bake about 10 dozen batches of cookies. She definitely had the Spirit of Christmas and her energy level seemed nothing short of a Christmas miracle.
Fast forward two days after Christmas; the presents were all unwrapped, the cookies were now crumbs, the parties and family get togethers were all over and my daughter's house looked like Babies R Us had relocated to her living room. Unfortunately, Christine had hit the wall. Lying among the torn wrapping paper and pile of toy doubles that needed to be returned, I found my daughter crashed on the couch. She was totally depleted- she had spent all her "spoons" on the holiday and now she was left with none. Chris was upset that she was again sick- that Lupus had flared its ugly head once more.
But I am sure Chris is far from alone. Since Christmas, so many of my friends, the healthy ones, have all been bitten by a strange "bug." They think it's a virus, but I think it's "Holidaydepletion." Everyone, especially women, wear themselves out during the month of December in hopes of creating the perfect holiday of their dreams. And on top of that, I find that many people with a chronic illness turn down one of two paths. They either become depressed and give up, saying that the holidays are overwhelming or they do what my daughter does and over-achieves, trying to make everything perfect, even though her body is not. I once told Chris she had an over-achiever's mind in an under-achiever's body.
So back to the proverbial Wall that so many hit after the holiday. Be kind to yourself- allow yourself the luxury of sleep, without guilt or fretting. Do all the things your mother used to remind you to do- drink lots of water, eat healthy food, take your vitamins, soak in a warm bath, put your feet up and most of all rest. For those with an illness, don't always think your cold or run down condition is from your illness, the healthy among you are dragging themselves around too.
Article written by Janet Miserandino, © 2007 butyoudontlooksick.com
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Comments
In years past I have been just like your daughter, but this year an intense fibro flare kept me from doing as much, but I still pushed to my limit and still crashed. 20+ years of this and you would think I should know better!
Posted by: Katie | December 31, 2007 04:25 AM
As I started reading this article I already knew what the ending would be. That sounded like me before I realized that I not only had to be careful not to use up all my daily spoons, but also to keep some in reserve that my body could use for healing. This Christmas I kept present-buying within limits (mostly for the grandchildren, since money is tight), and I started selecting them in the fall so I was ready a couple of weeks before Christmas. Wherever possible I used gift bags to save wrapping chores. I baked one batch of cookies and then participated in a cookie exchange so I had a variety. (I don't eat them, myself for health reasons.) My husband and I had a quiet Christmas Eve at home by the fire with a short tour of the neighborhood lights, Christmas dinner at a daughter's house,(with me just bringing a healthy relish plate and some of the exchanged cookies). For decorations we had a wreath on the door and a poinsettia on the doostep, a small table-top artificial tree, a child-friendly Nativity scene, a Christmas card display, and a Christmas tablecloth. It took me less than an hour to take down and store all these decorations a few days after Christmas. During the holidays I was careful to stick to my housekeeping routines, so I didn't create any "backlog" of things to do. I kept to my health care routines, taking my medicines, eating a helathy diet, getting regular gentle exercise, scheduling rest periods during the day, and scheduling enough time in bed for adequate sleep. So Christmas is past, and I feel fine! Furthermore, I congratulate myself for managing it well while putting a priority on taking care of myself.
Posted by: Nancy Fortner | December 31, 2007 11:40 AM
Thanks for letting me know that I am not the only one who overdid.
Hugs to Christine.
Carol
Posted by: Carol | December 31, 2007 11:42 AM
I think I'm older than Janet and I still haven't learned to pace myself during December, even though our eldest daughter has taken over almost everything ... she decorates our house (with our traditional dozen trees), buys gifts for us to give even each other, and food for the grand Christmas Eve open house ... oh, by the way, she has Crohn's, asthma, and several other invisible diseases.
Posted by: Mary Lou Loyanich | December 31, 2007 08:14 PM
I'm moving very slowly today after we had a New Year's feast for 25. After all these years of illness (30), I've learned I have to pace myself- cooking tires me more than anything else that I do so I take 3 days to do what others do in 1 day. But I do it and love it. So what's new? Everyone gets tired - but with chronic illness, it's just more so and we have to learn how to take care of ourselves that much more so. But taking care of ourselves includes doing what brings us pleasure, too. Rosalind Joffe
Posted by: Rosalind Joffe | January 1, 2008 02:15 PM
I am a single mommy that has SLE/RA and Seizure Disorder; I know all too well about the after holiday burnout. This year I did it with a fractured hip and pnuemonia. We all over do it, use spoons we don't have and make Christmas for our family and make it successful. I am now on the sofa very ill and wishing I would have handled myself better; then I think back to the day of my two little girls and all the smiles I recieved and the big hug and kiss for all that "Santa" has done for them. The very moments we never know if we will have next year or be well enough to bake, produce Christmas Programs for our churches, go to parties and watch the next year roll in with thousands of other people in the square of your town. Save spoons and be well and always feel blessed to have your time. Happy 2008!!!!
Posted by: Melissa | January 2, 2008 07:37 PM