A Decision

i've decided to stop the charades
starting now, i will no longer have fibromyalgia
no more pretending to be in pain
no more acting like i have vertigo
and absolutely no more fatigue
and of course, no more sleepless nights
it was fun while it lasted
i've enjoyed the pity parties i gave myelf
and the dozen of pill bottles in the cabinet
are just so pretty to look at,
but i really don't need them, you see
because i was just making it all up
because i thought i needed some extra attention
and all those pain relieving creams
you know, the ones with the wonderful aroma,
i didn't really need to use them, '
i just liked the way the smell gave me nausea
and of course, i won't have to lay on the couch anymore,
not when i would really love to be playing
basketball with me kids
and when i go back to work,
i won't have to put my head on the desk
after every test i correct,
because i won't be pretending that
i have this lovely disease
you see, it's just too much work
to keep this act up, so when i
click my heels together
and say "there's no more fm"
i will open my eyes and be
"normal" again!!!

...there's no more fm...
...there's no more fm...

wait a minute?
what went wrong
the pain is still here'
i'm not sleeping
i'm still exhausted
maybe it's because i don't have the ruby slippers
or maybe it's just because
despite what others say about me
and no matter how much i want it to be true,
i'm not pretending, it isn't an act,
i really do have fm
i really am in pain most of the time
i really can't get to sleep at 2 AM
and i really am dead tired

i tried to convince myself otherwise
but it didn't work
or maybe i just need to click my heels together a few more times...
or maybe i just need some SLEEP!!!!

Brandi Lasnick © 2007 butyoudontlooksick.com