Sick Humor: You know you have Lupus or (an Invisible Disease) when...(Part 2)
(This funny list was written by the members of our message boards It made me laugh, and I wanted to share it with all of you)
Your mother-in-law calls to ask you to tape her soaps and you agree. Your husband then tells you, "We don't have a VCR", then you say, "Yes we do, in the bedroom beside the DVD player." After he asks you if you need to sit down, you march him back to the bedroom to show him, in fact, that...Oh, we don't have a VCR.
You put laundry in the machine and forget about it. You later wonder why you're missing a load of clothes, and only find it when you go to put the next load in 4 days later.
Then repeat with the tumble dryer!
You wash a whole "load" of laundry and when the washer is finished, you realize you never put the clothes in.
It takes you five attempts to load the machine and REMEMBER TO TURN IT ON.
You can't remember the last time you took a shower cause you're in a flare and have no spoons!
(I'd finally figure it was time when my cat started looking at me funny!!)
You open the oven door to find you last used it over a week ago - and you've left the food in there.
It was not pleasant.
You burp and say “Thank you” when you meant, “Pardon me”, and no one looks at you funny - they’re used to it.
You choose what you are going to eat... based on what will taste the least disgusting when thrown up.
You leave the house after only putting deodorant under one arm, thinking you did the other one too, and you don't realize it until you start wondering why one side of your shirt is wet and the other isn't.
You only shave one leg -because you can’t do all that work twice, but by the time you can, you’ve forgotten all about shaving in the first place.
You're family says, "You walk like Grandpa!" And you're only 18!
You sit down with all your schoolbooks to study, forget what you were doing and go feed your pets... for the third time!
You sign a form using your maiden name after having another last name for 35 years....
You fall, whack your head, and then dust yourself off and continue with whatever you were doing…IF you can remember it.
You sign your name in your second language (Russian, in my case) on a Canadian form.
You totally forget the name of a website you visit as it loads - its name?
BUTYOUDONTLOOKSICK.COM!
You consider taking another Indian name - Falls With A Splat.
Your walker doubles as a...
-waiter's trolley -backpack
-portable seat -desk
You finally gather the strength to shower for your doctor’s appointment and then your husband catches you walking out the door in pajamas and a towel on your head and you don't even realize you never got dressed.
You are having a phone conversation with your best friend, you put the phone down and then forget you were talking to someone. You don't realize she's still on the phone until her IM pops up!
You are playing “Duck, Duck, Goose” with a class full of children; you’re It, and you start tapping the kids saying, "Uno." Wait, that’s not right. (Meanwhile, the kids are all, "What???") Umm, "One?".... No. Crap, that's not right either. What's the word?!?!?!?
Oh yeah.... “DUCK!”
You....
.... Sorry, what was I saying?
Butyoudontlooksick.com, © 2006









Comments
Your doctor notices when you change your outgoing message on your answering machine.
Posted by: Julia Mahar | December 15, 2007 07:55 PM
this is more like "you know you have alzheimers if..."
almost all are about forgetting things all the time.
Posted by: Alyssa | December 20, 2007 08:26 PM
I definitely know what you mean by choosing your food based on what will taste the least disgusting when you throw it up. I went through a long phase where I couldn't eat salad because if I throw it up the lettuce leaves get stuck in my throat, not pleasent!
Posted by: Kati | January 4, 2008 07:38 AM
Just a note to Julia Mahar: A lot of us have conditions that make us seem as though we DO have Alzheimers. Just another fun day with FM/CFS/Lupus, etc.
Posted by: Caroline Witte | January 6, 2008 02:02 AM
You take the same (and sometimes more) medication as your 80-year-old grandpa when you are 18.
or in mine and other heart diseasers case-you compare vitals with your 80-year-old grandpa and have contests on who can go highest/lowest and still function
Posted by: Kat | March 24, 2008 11:04 PM
You are taking a water excercise class. All the other participants are over the age of 65 and you can't keep up with them. You are only 30! Then the nice little old man says, "wow you are so young" Thanks OLD MAN! I haven't heard that enough!
Posted by: Kim Gittens | March 28, 2008 12:17 PM